Wednesday, September 26, 2007

A Call to Arms!

Good day to you all, my Hornies! 'Tis a glorious week at the humble abode of your faithful Hornblogger, whither gentle thoughts of autumn are carried upon the cool breeze. One can easily imagine the graceful clipper ships of the line returning to the safe waters of Bristol harbor after a long voyage from the Spice Islands. But alas, there may well be dark days ahead...

I happened to overhear a most shocking piece of news this weekend as I escorted my fair ladylove to her fortnightly Rennaissance Fair rehearsal. (Though most days she be my beloved sweetheart and true, on every other Sunday she assumes her second identity as Burmel, the kindly leper.) Upon my return I verified this startling revelation upon the telegraph machine of the modern age, the World Wide Web. Brace yourselves, Hornies, for here comes a swell to the rear:

A dastardly organization of international rogues and misfits called the Napoleonic Historical Society plans to hold a conference in the land of Chicago in a few weeks' time. As their name implies, these scoundrels are united by a common bond of admiration and respect for the most villainous Frenchman the world has yet to see, Napoleon Bonaparte! Who knows what skullduggery will be perpetrated once all of these lowlifes are congregated in one place!! This calamitous convention is scheduled to take place from October 12-14 at the Union League Club.

It is our duty - nay, our privilege - as Hornies to combat the machinations of Old Boney's modern-day henchmen. We shall open the hostilities with a salvo from afar. We must all write to the president of the Union League Club warning him of the dangers he is about to unleash upon the world. Should these efforts fail, I urge you all to take ship poste-haste to the fair city of Chicago to protest this vile perfidy in person! Would Hornblower expect anything less of his scions? Would he expect anything less of himself? Batten the hatches! Ready the cannon! Forward, brave Hornies! Forward for England and King George! Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah!!!

No comments: